wafflewonderland:

megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

Omg

(Source: estpolis, via yourheartisthreesizestoobig)

sildachi:

sildachi:

sildachi:

who does polyphemus hate more than odysseus

nobody

guys please it’s a literature joke i need your support on this

(Source: capturesexual, via sneakingferocity)

undereyelids:

Bruce Willis is probably going to keep making action movies because you know what they say about old habits

(via oldfilmsflicker)

What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?

legit-humour:

why does waldo wear stripes? because he doesn’t want to be spotted

(via puddingheadpastry)

shoolisnpals:

weedhitler:

Hey man, check out my band “Sand”.

We’re

post rock

I swear to every God

(via filmsinthedarkofdawn)

jediteaparty:

arauj0:

aangnog:

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

(Source: terrakion, via filmsinthedarkofdawn)

lilsaintdick:

when a clock gets hungry does it go back four seconds

(Source: vvebkinz, via studies-in-ontology)

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

christmascockies:

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

my humor is very similar to my cereal

soggy?

actually i was going to say dry and tasteless but yours works too

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via spoo-ki)

aoiasahina:

(p + l)(a + n) = pl + pn + la + ln

i foiled your plan

EDIT: Dullsoundofsharpmath pointed out that this is wrong. Here is the corrected version:

(p + l)(a + n) = pa + pn + la + ln

(via danish-dino)

oops i just deleted this and don't feel like writing it again