web log

legit-humour:

why does waldo wear stripes? because he doesn’t want to be spotted

(via puddingheadpastry)

shoolisnpals:

weedhitler:

Hey man, check out my band “Sand”.

We’re

post rock

I swear to every God

(Source: drugleaf, via filmsinthedarkofdawn)

jediteaparty:

arauj0:

aangnog:

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

(Source: growlithed, via filmsinthedarkofdawn)

lilsaintdick:

when a clock gets hungry does it go back four seconds

(Source: vvebkinz, via studies-in-ontology)

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

christmascockies:

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

my humor is very similar to my cereal

soggy?

actually i was going to say dry and tasteless but yours works too

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via bri-ki)

aoiasahina:

(p + l)(a + n) = pl + pn + la + ln

i foiled your plan

(via danish-dino)

If authors were lovers in the same style as their writing:

toriandrelativedimensionsinspace:

thegestianpoet:

• Wilde would whisper flowery sweet nothings in your ear during foreplay but then have his very dirty way with you
• Fitzgerald would spend like an hour bragging about how good he was and then come much too soon
• Shakespeare would make up positions on the spot but they’d be awesome
• Doyle would please you once and then complain when you kept asking him to do the same thing over and over again
• Hemingway would explain in no uncertain terms exactly what he was going to do, and do exactly one very simple act, but goddamn if it wasn’t the best time you’ve had in years anyways
• Joyce would take FOREVER but eventually satisfy you
• Rand would make you do all the work yourself
• Poe would cry 

POE. WOULD. CRY.

blaperture-mesa:

funkyfreshdays:

reallycreepyfangirl:

on a scale of 1 to america how free are you to go on a date with me

north korea 

ouch

(Source: sidneycrybaby, via livingsilhouettes)